Many people were raised with the notion that it's important to be a "nice girl" or a "nice boy." Then, came the books, "Nice guys finish last" or "Good girls don't get the corner office."
So, let me understand this...if you are nice, you are an unpromotable wimp...but if you are nasty you will be a successful jerk? Come again?
Surely, there is some middle ground here. As a parent of a teenager and a business owner, I understand that I can't be a pushover but I also tend to lead with pleasantness, interest, and understanding when I am meeting with people. People are interesting, generally good, and have their own doubts about their competence and expertise.
It's a winning strategy to start with respect and lead with friendship. If you find the treatment is not mutual, reevaluate your approach. I say it's time to have books that are titled, "Be nice. Be good. And, be successful!"